My Prayer of Salvation

Over the past several months, I have become aware that my relationship with God has gone astray.  The teachings of my church stress that the “sin” in our lives is what separates us from God.  As much as I’ve always believed this and have strived to keep “blatant” sins out of my daily life, there exists a deeper, more “mental" level of sin that I often ignore and neglect to focus on.  Since retiring from CCSD, my monthly income has decreased slightly.  Although it DOES NOT create a great financial burden on me, I have allowed myself to be overwhelmed with anxiety revolving around compensating for this difference.  Applying for jobs in private schools, accepting every daily and long term substitute position that is offered to me and “stressing out” when there are no positions available,  and concocting new “business ventures” (which always seem to require more “up front” capital than I can afford), have been obsessing my mind to the point where I seldom concern myself with being the light of Christ, as we are all commanded to be.  In addition to the state of my monthly income, I have allowed myself to fall into a constant state of panic and impatience over the delay in my plans to sell my house, move to Missouri, and start a new life.  St. Paul teaches us in Romans 8:35 that as life presents trials and tribulations, distress, persecution, famine, etc., — situations that have a direct effect on the “flesh,” nothing can separate us from God’s love.  So, why do I obsess over such trivial matters???  Often, I find myself speaking out in angery wrath to people who try to offer suggestions that I do not want to accept, which not only deteriorates my relationship with people I surround myself with, but is an abomination to God.  It really makes me stop and thing about how much I actually “trust” God, and allow him to take me by the hand each day of my life and lead me past these anxieties.  In my heart, I know what I must do reconcile my relationship with God and those people in community.  Daily prayer, and meditation will help me to respond to God’s higher power, allowing me to let go of the worldly callings that I have succumbed to!    “Dear God, I want a real relationship with You.  I admit that many times I have chosen to go my own way instead of Your way.  I am genuinely grieved over my sins and deeply regret them.  Jesus, thank You for dying on the cross to pay the penalty for my sins.  Come into my life, once again, to be my Lord and my Savior.  Make me to be the person you created me to be.  In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.  Amen!"

.© Mary Darby 2016